What if Stripcreator was huge, hmm? Wouldn't that be nice? Sure it would.

When a comicstrip/cartoon that I enjoy gets huge, the marketing department takes over and saturates the marketplace with towels, posters, toys, toothbrushes, and anything else. The saddest part is when the fad has run its course and they sit dejectedly at Big Lot's and K-Mart's discount bins. It's depressing.

So this is the story. Strip Creator is huge, now do strips about all of the merchandise. The more craptastic and unneccesary, the better. Bonus points for making Strip Creator greeting cards. (Boy, i sure don't enjoy the Bloom County ones, i guess because I always expect them to be as funny as the series was, but hey, it's a greeting card, right?).

Old strips are welcome like a friend coming over to a party with nothing; new strips are welcome like a friend bringing over drinks and chips, but both are welcome. It's a party!

Judging on Tuesday. Weee!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

You're way too late for this theme.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Yeah, those kind of got me thinking about the marketing side of things, but I felt that there might be more disturbing things to be marketed, although these disturb me because of the weird built in camel toe or whatever it is that it stuffed in the front.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

The next logical step by TheGovernor 4-10-03

Hot Dang, Im ordering me one of those 4-6 weeks later Sweet it arrived Me love you long time I told you selling young asian brides was the ideal merchandising opportunity, you may make a profit out of this site yet I agree that was a success, but it's still nowhere close to the Tobor shaped Dildo in terms of sales

CC181: Try our new Canadian flavor! by evil_d 4-10-03

Boy, I'm feeling pretty unfunny today. What you need is a Stripcreator Candy Bar! *munch* *munch* ...Wow, these are great! It's like a hundred rotor turbines generating gravitons in my mouth! Stripcreator Candy Bars! Layers of chewy caramel, fluffy nougat, and crunchy in-jokes, with a delicious milk chocolate coating! These strawberry ones have kind of a metallic aftertaste. It's not strawberry.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

CC181: Stripcreator sends the very best by maddog00 4-10-03

Kaufman Witty Birthday Cards On your birthday, I almost bought you a ceramic leprechaun and wrapped it up. You'd have gnome chance of guessing what it is Tobor's Get Well Cards RAAARR! GET BETTER OR TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU! Say thank you with a card from the Asian girls Thank you. Me sucky sucky. No charge.

CC 181: The Stripcreator Collectible Card Game! by Zegota 4-10-03

I cast Tobor into play. Do you have a counterspell?  No  I use Tobor's Cornholing ability on your Captain Obvious. I cast the "Bleeding anus"-spell on Captain Obvious to protect his ass. Tobor doesn't care if his anus is bleeding or not. Fuck you.

CC 181: The Stripcreator Collectible Card Game #2 by Zegota 4-10-03

I sacrifice three newbie cards to bring Kaufman into play. Fuck you, I'm outta here, Kaufman ain't even Tournament Legal.

CC 181: The Stripcreator Collectible Card Game #3 by Zegota 4-10-03

I cast Zegota, When Zegota comes into play all stripcreators your opponent controls' anusses start bleeding. You cast who? Zegota What the fuck is that? He's a stripcreator, Zegota, surely you've heard of him. You made that card up didn't you?

CC 181: The Stripcreator Collectible Card Game #4 by Zegota 4-10-03

I cast "Brain Suck", removing 5 Pun Points from your Pun Pool and adding them to mine. Crap, now I have no more Pun Points left in my Pun Pool I use 6 Pun Points from my Pun Pool to activate Kaufman's Punning ability okay Now I use the remainder 7 Pun Points in my Pun Pool to use a level 7 Pun on you. Shit, I'm dead. Damn, that Kaufman totally outpunned me.

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

Does anyone ever read these bits above comics in competitons? Shit! Boavista have just scored! What a terrible own goal!

Wow! As I type Henrik Larsson pulls one back for Glasgow Celtic! I should be like a professional internet football commentator guy.

CC 181: Everyday scenes if Stripcreator was really popular 1 by jes_lawson 4-10-03

How much for a blow job? $500! Advertisement: For a "real" custard taste, choose Stripcreator brand biscuits. Andy Dougan wouldn't play with anything else. Mmm! It's the taste doesn't need more sodomy! Oh man I love this guy! His material was so killer! Live from Madison Square Gardens, it's the fuck Comeback Special!

Everyday scenes if Stripcreator was really popular (2) by jes_lawson 4-10-03

Hey man! I scored us tickets to tonight's Stripcreator gig! Awesome dude! I'm gonna buy jes_lawson an absinthe, score with Asiangirl and then heckle Wirthling! "Sucks!" Ha ha ha! Hey, what about that fat Middle Eastern guy? "CHOP OFF DE COCK!" Ha ha ha! Seriously though we'd better get going before dark, I don't wanna end up like that kid from Detroit! Dude, you worry too much! Tobor hasn't been seen in the open for weeks! But can we take your wheels? The rotor turbine on mine's busted!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC 180: Everyday scenes if Stripcreator was really popular 3 by jes_lawson 4-10-03

Hey dude! Do you think Scyess and not_Scyess are the same person? It's true you never see them on TV together! Do you think if they met and touched each other they would like, annihilate the universe? Dude no! Logically not_scyess is everyone except Scyess! So It couldn't be him. I...Grr! You and your damned logic! Hey! I went to Ken Kaufman Uni! Gimme a degree of respect! Please!

That last punchline must be crap coz I think I have to explain it, it's supposed to be like the old "Take my wife. Please." gag.

If you got the punchline forget what you have just read.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Gah...

CC181: I got the bloody numbering right this time! by jes_lawson 4-10-03

Hi readers! SafetyDonkey here to point out jes_'s woeful inadequacies in numbering comic competition entries. All right Donkey, fair enough! Now for the rest of the strip, here's a clip from PBS's "Stripcreator Squad" archives! Episode originally aired 10/4/2001 Stripcreator Squad: KER-TRANS-FORM! and sound off! ---Wirthling!--- Ready to Suck! Ho! ---Spankling!--- Ready to take a beating! Ho! ---Spelunking!--- What am Idoing here exactly? Bitch!, er... I mean... Ho!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Sadly, I don't think our judge will get this one. Good thing it's not technically an entry.

Takeoff on evil_d's "Try Our New Canadian Flavor" by Drexle 4-10-03

We'll show you a metallic aftertaste!!!

And here's an oooold one that at least somewhat fits the actual theme of the contest. You did ask for greeting cards...

Derxl's tribut too fuck by Drexle 12-28-01

Its tiems leik tehse taht make want too wish yuo teh best sinserely from mye hart Tahts sweet Iam so sadd now my hubsand has dyed And tehres onley won way to show my fillings for yew. ILL BANG YURO BRANES INTO NEKST WENSDAY!!!! NO!!! PLEEZE, DONT RAPE ME!!! HEEEEPL!!!! Taht was sexaly satisfying Ow I hurt now btu Im not theenking of mye ded husbnd ennymore. Tahnk you!

CC 181: Caveat Emptor by BigEvilDan 4-10-03

Hey, my authentic stripcreator prop arrived! Which one did you get? Open it! AHH! It's still better than the height2 they sent me.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC 181: Shameless Corporate Whore by MaxPayne 4-10-03

Warning: Sweet! My new StripCreator Peek-A-Boo Tobor © finally got here! It says I just have to hit this switch and...... Objects in comic are much less funny than they appear PEEK-A-BOO! INITIATE CORNHOLE! Where's that damn instruction manual?

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 181: It'll Cornhole Your Thirst!â„¢ by BigEvilDan 4-10-03

Check it out! I got this Stripcreator Fake Hammer And Nail gag. Stripcreator doesn't sell fake nails. They deal exclusively in booze and porn. Well, this sucks. Here, have some Tobeerâ„¢. It'll make you feel better.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC 181: Anything's Better Than Another Hollow Man by microfetus 4-10-03

In the year 2091, the Catholic church puts a ban on the ever increasingly popular Strip Creator. You're right! Strip Creator must be destroyed! Let's burn their merchandise! For it is written, man was not meant to create strips before God. The members of Strip Creator were all murdered on sight. It's that Strip creating infidel, Microfetus! Get him! You can kill me, but my hilarity will live on! Luckily, Kevin Bacon's brain was put in a robot just in case such a Foot Loose-esque event should occur. He is now teaching the people how to write comics, and more importantly, how to live. Like this, Mr. Bacon? OBJECTIVE: REBEL AGAINST CREATIVE OPPRESSION IN A HEART WARMING MANNER. SUB OBJECTIVE: ASK ARIEL TO PROM.

For how funny this is, I spent entirely too long on it.
Oh, and this is my first attempt at a contest, so be nice!

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"Abortion should be mandatory!"

Don't blame me if I went for the obvious joke. I haven't done this in a while

I'll Even Let You Squeeze The Tube by israphael 4-11-03

Hey, Cindy why so glum? I'm so bored with traditional snacks. I need a new snacking experience! What you need is Stripcreator Biscuits. They're in the shapes of your favorite Stripcreator regulars. Oh wow! There's LadyJ, Drexle, Fuzzyman, and Wirthling! *Crunch, Crunch* And they are so yummy! It's like a party in my mouth! They'll taste even better once I put my special sauce on them.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC181: Stripcreator Education by maddog00 4-11-03

I wnet ot fcuk skool nad lerned alot. BEND OVER FUCKING BICH OF A HOAR! TIME FOR UNCONSENSIAL SEX! Ahh, I am dieing! Those two are ridiculous. They're English is terrible as well as their spelling. What kind of school teaches such a thing as that? Not my school. Excuse me, but I must correct you on your mistake. It's "their English", not "they're English." You call yourself a Pedantic grad. So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha-ha...what the fuck are you talking about?

Microfetus - just under the wire on compliance, you DID mention merchandise at least. and it DID make me chuckle, none the less.

maddog00 - wtf?

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 181: Under The Sea by MaxPayne 4-11-03

Yes, that's right, now you too can have your very own StripCreator (C) Sleep With The Fishies Sneakers! Impress your family! Amaze your friends! And never have to go to work again! Call now, large-knuckled thugs with names like Vinnie & Paulie are standing by! I'm not just a body dumped by the mafia, I'm also a client!

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 181: Stripcreator TV by Zegota 4-11-03

Hello Kids, it's time for fun and games with Pablo! HELLO PABLO!!! Look, it's sideshow wigudonkey! Hi Kids! Order the latest edition of Stripcreator Skanky Mom's before it's too late. And what will we do with sideshow wigudonkey today? CORNHOLE HIM!!!

CC 181: Stripcreator Action Figures by Zegota 4-11-03

ARMY BRAD! JUNGLE WARRIOR BRAD! BITCH BRAD!

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

CC181: Stripcreator Plushes from Ty! by UnknownEric 4-11-03

Every boy and girl will want their own Stripcreator Plushes! Goddamn, I fucking want one. Me too, for fuck's sake! Collect them all! fuck... Wirthling... ... and the ultra-popular Talking Tobor (TM) RAAAR!

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I has a flavor!

CC 181: Tonight, on Worlds Funniest Stripcreator Bloopers by naz_ghul 4-11-03

Rare videotape of Deuce's early career in the Royal Shakespeare Company . . . Now is the winter of our discontent changed to the glorious summer of York . . . Fuck seems to be having trouble memorizing his lines . . . He rapps teh fukin . . . *bleep* Heh heh, I'm sorry, is it "Nales teh Fuckin Bich" or "Rapps teh Fukin' hoar?" Ha ha ha! Okay, okay - let's try it again. Heh heh heh! I'm sorry, he keeps making that face! Okay, okay, for real this time. *ahem* Things Get a little heated on the set of "TOBOR, the Cornhole slayer." RAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE . . . What the? Who the *bleep* is talking on the set over there?! Seriously, guys, can we TRY to be *bleep* professionals here?!

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The woman said, "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Churchill replied "madame, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

CC181: Available for weddings, funerals, barmitzphas! by mmyers 4-11-03

All of my daughter's favorite Stripcreator characters are all here for her birthday party! What fun! What happened to your pants, Mr Kajun Firefly? Oh my god! The pink donkey got out and is trampling the children! Oh the humanity! I'm a pink donkey! Hahaha! What did you expect me to do??!! What kind of idiot brings a spray painted donkey to a children's party? Look lady, you had a choice of the pink donkey or the hooker from 'When I grow up', YOU chose the donkey.

Sure I'm ineligible, but it's fun to be involved.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

CC181: Best Seller #1 by TheGovernor 4-12-03

What ya reading? "Stripcreator.Com present the Ultimate run-on sentence" in book form What Really? Good god no! I was joking, I mean honestly who'd pay money for that crap, well apart from Canadians, and maybe the Dutch So what are you reading? "Stripcreator for Dummies"

CC181: Best Seller #2 by TheGovernor 4-12-03

Says here in "Stripcreator for Dummies" Do's and Don'ts section that you shouldn’t use internet abbreviations in your comics as it detracts from the joke of the comic OMG rly? It also says that you should make sure the comic is completely finished before you press the save button