All comics by Prufrock

Profile

 

by Prufrock
1-16-02
Wow, working for Microsoft sucks.
I've got an idea. Let's form our own software company.
This is great! Watch me use old pop culture in an ironic way because I'm spiritually empty!
Oh no, Dan! Your mom's just had a stroke!
Hey, let's use our computers to communicate with her and find deep and true meanings in our shallow lives!
hellojed

 

by Prufrock
1-16-02
Toda su base es pertenence a nosotros!
....
Don't look at me, man; my contract said I had to.
You know, I could eat your soul like a pudding cup.

 

by Prufrock
1-16-02
Wow, I hope I don't run away from battle, because that would really suck.
Swan swan hummingbird; hurrah, we are all free now...
Oh no! This is a lot less fun than I expected! Run away!!

 

by Prufrock
1-16-02
I feel bad about running away. I'll go back to my comrades.
Run away!! Where de plank-road?
Hey, what are you-- OW! Fucker!
Booya!
Fortunately, his comrades were intensely stupid.
Ow. My head. Ow. Ow.
Wow, that wound looks like you got brained by a fleeing soldier's musket. Must've been a Secesh bullet.

 

by Prufrock
1-16-02
The next day:
That flag looks nice. I think I'll take it.
You vant to go outside?! You vant to fisticuffs?!
Sorry, sir, we did the best we could.
j00 5uX0rz.
Over the river a golden ray of sun came through the hosts of leaden rain clouds.
Wow, even though we got our asses kicked, I fled under fire, and my best friend was killed, I feel really good about myself.
Meh.

 

by Prufrock
1-16-02
Tonight, at the Inferno Room...
The shadows gather 'round as / The voice recites / The secret history of / My immortal soullll....
Who's responsible / Indefensible / Reprehensible / Meeeeee!
Well, it looks like Tipper Gore was right all along.
Thank you, folks, I'll be here all week! Be sure to tip your waiter!
*clap* *clap*

 

by Prufrock
1-16-02
Drugs are bad, mmkay? And everything anyone can possibly do, say, or think is addictive.
Especially postmodern self-referential irony.
Wow, this is the best movie I've ever seen!
That's because it's a lethally entertaining video specially created by a dead alcoholic filmmaker physicist! Suck it.
This book is 1,079 pages long. With ninety pages of endnotes.
Mmm...Dilaudid.

 

by Prufrock
1-16-02
I'm Wilbur Whately.
Yog-Sothoth is my father.
...I look more like Mom.
ARRR UM NUM NUM NUM NUM *burp*

 

by Prufrock
1-17-02
Ohmigod! And then I saw this guy, and he was all like, "This is your life and it's ending one second at a time" and I was like "Ohmigod, weeeeee!"
......
Ohmigod! And then I saw this other guy, and he was nailed to a cross, and he said "Into your hands I deliver my spirit," and I was all "Weeeeeeee!"
Now cut that out.
Ohmigod! And then I saw Cthulhu, and he was all like "Ia R'lyeh! Cthulhu f'taghn! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
I can't believe my agent talked me into this.

 

by Prufrock
1-18-02
Told my uncle...
...I'd destroy his flesh-bound book...
...gonna read it first.
Kiss me, you fool.
Meanwhile, at H.P. Lovecraft's grave...
*spin* *spin* *spin*

 

by Prufrock
1-22-02
What are you?
I am that I am, God of your fathers.
Really?
......No.
This is not the joke you're looking for. Move along.
Actually, I'm just a pyrotechnic stuntman that's been diagnosed with a messianic complex. I'm taking meds for it.

 

by Prufrock
1-22-02
And so, Prufrock went to Hell.
So. Um, this is Hell, is it.
Fallen one! I am thy god now! Abandon all hope! And wipe that smirk off your face!
...Hey, didn't I see you singing at the Inferno Room last week?
.......Shut up.
To be continued. Unfortunately.
And you're a lot shorter than I expected.
Hey!

 

by Prufrock
1-23-02
Lemme get this straight. I've gone to Hell for making unfunny jokes about Moses?
Exactly! And now you will suffer an eternity of torment!
So why haven't the South Park guys been called down here yet?
...Those little bastards have an eternal contract. Plus my nephew's one of their interns.
You know, I can't believe all those heavy metal bands said you were so cool.
Arrrrrgh!!!

 

by Prufrock
1-23-02
And lo, it came to pass that Satan was displeased with his new guest.
...I suppose I could get into the burning pits of sulfur, bUt ThE mAsTeR wOuLd NoT aPpRoVe... *chuckle*
Gaaaaahh! No more! Knock it off with the stupid Torgo voice already!!!
Awww, does ickle Satan-poo not wike de widdle voicy-woicy?
Bitch! Knock it the hell off!!!
Later:
*sob* *sniffle* *sob*
There, there. It's all right, dear.

 

by Prufrock
1-25-02
Look. This is Hell. You know, fire, brimstone, eternal torment? You're not supposed to be a smartass, you're supposed to suffer.
Hey, aren't you supposed to be in MoonPants' comic providing tentacle hentai?
Oh, that is *it*. You leave me no choice.
What's.... oh, no! Not THAT!
The End -- or is it?
"Holly could tell that this town was special, because they only put Super Wal-Marts in towns that were special."
Britney Spears reading her novel! Nooooooooooo!!!

 

by Prufrock
1-26-02
Meanwhile...
Man, I dunno about you, but I really hanker for a hunk o'--
Balls! Hell yeah!
Playing video games is fun and all, but nothing beats the great taste of balls!!
Hey, we squirrels always know where to get the best nuts.
This message brought to you by the American Balls Council.
Bee-ay-double-ell-ess! Balls!
I feel so dirty.

 

by Prufrock
1-26-02
Prufrock, at the bookstore:
Hi! I'm looking for a book; I don't know the title, or who wrote it, or what it's about, but I know it had a really pretty cover. Do you have it?
Fuck you.

 

by Prufrock
2-01-02
Amuse me.
Sounds like a river inside her bones, when she went down to the door, i heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I do not like you, college brat. I do not like the cornbread either.
Thank you.

 

by Prufrock
2-01-02
You're fucked in the hand is worth two in the hand is worth two in the hand is worth two in the head, you know that.
Do you have drugs?
I hope you have drugs?
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
I think you may have lost the plot.
I lost the plot a long time ago.

 

by Prufrock
2-02-02
Cloud and Squall have very big swords.
Boy howdy, they certainly do.
Howdy to you, darling? What did you let them do?
If I didn't tell the prosecutor, what makes you think I'll tell you?
I can insult you in the pix they want to think about your mother.
Are you threatening me?

 

by Prufrock
2-02-02
A bokken is a chemical compound that reacts with metals to form salts by releasing hydrogen.
This is not to be confused with Dokken, which was an 80s hair-metal band.
Rinoa is a missile projected by a private army.
Protected, not projected.
Allen Schezar is a fluid produced by the police.
You'd better ask Sting about that.

 

by Prufrock
2-15-02
You know, my day just isn't complete until I've ripped off David Lynch.
Grrrrrrr
Grrrrrrr
Grrrrrrr

 

by Prufrock
12-04-04
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Prufrock has returned from his rehab--er, hiatus! Let's see what creativity he's up to today!
Is returning to a prefab webcomic the best thing for me? After all, all I have to offer is self-referential in-jokes and pop-culture callbacks...
......
Then again, this *is* the Internet we're talking about here...
No punchline here, folks.

 

by Prufrock
12-05-04
With the urge to create driving him, but not much material to work with, Prufrock decides to call Evilena...
So, I'm stuck for ideas to put into my webcomic.
Well, why not do a humorous retelling of recent anecdotes in your life? Personal stories always get a good laugh from others.
Really? Wow, that *is* a good idea! Maybe I'll start off by talking about how I lost my teaching job.
Yeah, that'll work for a start. Just make sure to give everyone an appropriate avatar and pseudonym.
In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out how I'm able to talk on the phone when the handset's on the jack and I have my hands behind my back.
Hush, dear, it's the magic of webcomics.

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