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| One sunny day, in the middle of the night, I was eating a block of cheese on the street corner and I saw a man robbing a old lady with liver spots all over. She looked like a dalmation. | |
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| I started laughing at the scenario. I always enjoyed laughing at somebody elses misery. The robber noticed me and was all like "hey! you better not tell the cops later or I'll break many of your bones | |
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| I then proceeded to tell the robber that I am the king of darkness, and then I offered him some skittles. The robber chuckled and said that he enjoyed converting with me. | |
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| I got all confused with all the big words so I bit off the robber's face and ate it. He screamed. I laughed. As I told you I enjoy laughing at other people's misery. | |
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| When the police finally came over, they thought I was the bad guy so one shoved a night stick up my rectum. I now sit alone in a dark, cold cell, counting the days to my death. | |
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| (I tried to publish this story for scholastic, but they declined. Then they vomited) | |
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