somnambulist  

So you finally told her that you were interested in her* now that she broke up with that guy?

Yeah, but she was not interested. Also some guy stalked us through the park making a bunch of squirrel noises.

I guess that isn't the best omen you could hope for. Still, aren't you glad that it's all over now?

It would be more of a relief if I thought it was for emotional reasons, but now I'm sure her type is "cute asshole." So, y'know. Not feeling so good right now.

Sorry. Even though I said she wasn't girlfriend material, I was hoping that you'd benefit from, like, the law of large numbers, or one of your other math things.

Not this time. And, sadly, the next best idea after her is to hit on one of my students who is graduating in May. She's almost worth getting fired for!