This is my first CC, so I hope I don't break it or anything.

Here's my lame idea: Brad has just started his own TV station, and is depending on you to come up with ideas for new dramas, sitcoms, news shows, reality series, cooking shows, etc. Of course, you must use stripcreator characters and backgrounds because Brad is too cheap to build new sets or hire actual actors. However, if you wish, the stripcreator characters can pretend to be actual actors. For example, toothgnip could pretend to be Sean Penn, or Mr. Stinkybutt could pretend to be Hilary Duff, or vise versa. Just remember -- if a viewer turned his or her TV on to Stripcreator Home Infotainment Television, your comic would represent what they would see shortly before they hurled the nearest object (lamp, pet, baby) through the TV screen and then began furiously humping the walls like a deranged squirrel. Or, if you choose, you could depict what might go on behind the scenes at the network.

Now, here's the catch:

All comics must include the line "Why, you big, fat asshole." If you do a series it need appear only once. Extra points if you also include the line "You know me...I'll suck anything."

Series must consist of six strips or less. Multiple entries are also okay. No photoshop.

Judging will be next Saturday around noon.

PLEASE NOTE: As always, if there do not appear to be very many entries being submitted to this contest after a certain amount of time has elapsed, I will shoot this dog.

Please...save the poor dog.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Everytime I see your signature biped I check under my be for Richard Pryor.

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Get Your War On

I will gouge out your eyes and spinoff you by EvilZak 7-10-04

After retiring from the Marines, he got a job teaching Algebra at high school. Jones, if x equals 7 and y equals 9, then what is 30 minus 3x? Tune in every Tuesday at 3 to watch... I don't know, sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Teaches Math Y, you big fat asshole! Next time, calculate like you got a pair!

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AFROMANS MOVE

Kape Kaufman Pt.I by possums 7-11-04

Kaufman, I'm glad you decided to join us on Stripcreator Home Infotainment Television! Your show "Kape Kaufman" is sure to be a success! Please, Brad, I'm just HAPPY to be here! In fact, it makes me positively GAY! Why, you big, fat asshole. Hah! YOU should be talking about big, fat assholes, Gape-a-hola!

Kape Kaufman Pt.II by possums 7-11-04

Well, Ken, I suppose since you have so much power on Stripcreator... Yes? You can pick pretty much anyone you want to play you. Hmmmmm...... Kape Kaufman Episode One... A Priest and Twelve Cornholes! Go ahead, punk... make me pray.

Kape Kaufman Pt.III by possums 7-11-04

Man, boorite, I gotta tell you... Kaufman's not easy to work with! Making me get Clint Eastwood to play him. I'm sure he must be quite a handful. Yeah, but I guess it could be worse... just look at our first episode of Beverly Hills, 9021fuck! I don't think this suit fits me well! I think you're right, Ms. Streisand... looks too good for you.

Kape Kaufman Pt.IV: SHIT's Fall Lineup by possums 7-11-04

Coming this fall... "Kape Kaufman," starring Clint Eastwood as Kenneth Kaufman! Alright, Cornholero, we're gonna have to BUST out of this woman's bra! RAAAR!! TOBOR CAMEO!!! And "Beverly Hills 9021Fuck," starring Barbara Streisand as Cletus Q. Fuck! helo gorjus. how abotu som unconsesenshal sex? you cant chainge a man! Last but not least, we have "12 Simple Rules for Being Fan of Said Bacon" starring the late John Ritter as Donkey! Hello, Mr. Equus, I'm your daughter's date! ROOL 1: BRING MY DAUGHTER HOME BEFORE THE 11, OR YOU'RE GETTING A THE HAM UP YOU ASS!!!

You shoot the dog, I crap in your mouth.

cc251 by qwertyuio 7-11-04

So did you cast as Erica? Brittney Murphy? Why, you big, fat asshole! Why did you cast that skank? Well... earlier... You know me...I'll suck anything.

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I think it's time I had a talk with my kids. I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me: YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHIN'

A little twist to Biped's rules

CC251, A Twist in Grammar by newportlocal 7-12-04

Hi, I'm a desperate clown wanting to get on TV.......I'm actually a publicity whore! Why are you telling me? Like I'm an agent or something.... You know me......I'll suck anything..... Why, you big fat asshole? ....to get on TV, of course......! Go ahead, shoot the dog.......

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Jump already....you said you would......

and another along the same lines.....

CC251, A Twist in Grammar 2 by newportlocal 7-12-04

I got the part on Brad's new show "Revenge of the Clowns!" Wow! I just have one question, though..... ....and that is? Why you? Big fat asshole! ....because......you know me, I'll suck anything..... Fucking whore.....

I'm so full of wit!

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Jump already....you said you would......

CC251: The SC channel presents Celebrity Poker by mmyers 7-12-04

Hello, I'm Chet Steedleman and welcome to SC's Celebrity Poker. Let's meet our players. Misremembered Platitude Trout here, saying you've got to know when to hold 'em, and know your limitations. I'm sorry, I thought it was celebate poker. Five dollah bids! Instead of playing for money we could play for clothes. Don't ask why, you big fat asshole. Brown eyed jacks are wild!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

...and for the religious types.....I am going to hell for this one......

CC251, McCulley talks with his Savior by newportlocal 7-12-04

...I have risen to tell you that your gift is acting, McCulley, and you should be on TV, not home alone....... why do you say that? I am not even a Christian, so why should I listen to you? Because, you know me, I'll suck anything! ........and your point is.............? Why, you big fat asshole! I will see you get to hell for this..... I'm not big, I'm not fat, but I may be an asshole.......

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Jump already....you said you would......

CC 251: This Town's Going To the Dogs by possums 7-12-04

Bad news, Brad. Lassie died. God! Excrement! Now who will be able to host SHIT's new show, "Animal Politics?" I think I have a good idea... Why, you big fat asshole. Who is it? SO MR. BUSH! ME DOG ON BALL! YOU FOREIGN POLICY BAD!! BOING BOING BOING BOING!!!

CC251: UnLaw and DisOrder by maddog00 7-13-04

Detectives Asiangirl1 and Asiangirl2 are on the case. We fin' dead man in street. Too bad. He rookie pretty goo' fo' sucky. Except for that rarge gaping hole in anus. You know me. I'll sucky anything...fo' fie dollah. Who could be the suspect? I know where to begin. Ret's roll.

CC251: Unlaw and Disorder 2 by maddog00 7-13-04

*CHING CHING* 69 ROBOT AVENUE, 5 PM Open up, its dah police. Er, she mean, fie dollah, sucky sucky. Open up. RAAAR!! CORNHOLE TIME! WHY YOU BIG FAT ASSHOLE! YOU LIED! You under arrest for not having fie dollah.

CC251: Unlaw and Disorder 3 by maddog00 7-13-04

*CHING CHING* Downtown poreece office. 6pm Admit it. You wanted some cornholing and decided to get it the easy way. Found that poor schmo in the street TOBOR NO CORNHOLE MAN TO DEATH! BUSY WITH BRAD. You think he's ryin'? HEE HAW! ME DOG ON BALL! KILL YOU WITH CHAINSAW! So, he not ryin' then. HEE HAW! DOG ON BALL THINK BRAD A WHORE! HE NO LIE! VROOM VROOM! FIND ANOTHER SUSPECT, IDIOT!

CC251: Unlaw and Disorder 4 by maddog00 7-13-04

*CHING CHING* OUTERSPACE 3am How we end up out here? This is where our culprit is. HE NALE'S THE FUCKIN BITCH AH! POLEECE!! ITS RAPE!! Caught you! You're under arrest. Want some sucky first? I wnat a lwyar

CC251: Unlaw and Disorder 5 by maddog00 7-13-04

CHING CHING. Grand Jury Part 126 2pm I brought all the evidence I need in this leather box. It'll be a briefcase. Fuck's not guilty. We have evidence. Blood on his glass eye, linking him to the murder. That's a glass eye? Why, I didn't real eyes. Your honor, the dead homosexual noticed fuck staring, he averted his gays. HEE HAW! WHEN IS THIS GOING TO BE OVER WITH! ME A RACECAR!

CC251: UNLAW AND DISORDER FIN by maddog00 7-13-04

wehn a man lvoes a women Jury, how do you find the defendant. GUILTY! GUILTY! Well, another sexual predator brought to justice. THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK! RAAR!

CC251: SC-TV presents: Bull and Matador (1) by mmyers 7-13-04

[jingle] One's a bull, the other a matador. Have two so different lived together before? When bull was kicked out with no place to stay, Matador said ,"You can stay at my place." They can sleep on the bed or they can sleep on the floor, it's Bull and Matador.[/jingle]

CC251: SC-TV presents Bull and Matador (2) by mmyers 7-13-04

My mom is coming to visit so I don't want you trying to stick any long needles into her neck, m'kay? Long needles? Why would I try to do that? Because you're a matador. Remember what happened when my brother came to visit? Hmmm.... Flashback! Oop, I'm dripping on the carpet. Where do you guys keep your towels a---agghhhh! Two needles shoved into my neck! Dear lord, the pain! Ole'!

CC251: SC-TV presents Bull and Matador (3) by mmyers 7-13-04

Flashback! Her Chet, I have a towel you can--why, you big, fat asshole! You killed my brother! ¡Ah mi dios! It was an accident. I thought he was charging and old habits die hard. Heh-heh-heh, doze were some pretty crazy times. And then while we were waiting for the coroners, you tried to milk him! Hey, ju know me, I'll suck anything...or at least anything that dispenses milk. He was a guy, Matador. That wasn't a big teet you were trying to milk.

CC251: SC-TV presents Bull and Matador (4) by mmyers 7-13-04

I promise I'll be on my best behavior, Bull. Actually, I need a favor from you. I told Mom that I was married and that I live with my wife. Mom would never forgive me if I wasn't married at my age. What do ju want from me? Just a small favor... Later... So Matadorina, what do you do for a living? I don't kill bulls, I can tell ju dat much.

CC251: SC-TV presents Bull and Matador (5) by mmyers 7-13-04

Thanks for dressing up as a woman for my Mom's sake, Matador. Ah, mang, anything for ju. Man, if that bull and that matador can get along, maybe all the racism and prejudice don't mean anything either. Yeah, maybe we can all get along with each other if we look past our obvious differences and look to what we have in common. Nah. Nah.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Wait, I want to save the dog, but you've gotta give us some more time! Please! Extend the deadline! I don't want the blood of Bonzo on my hands. For one thing it makes typing difficult...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

I was meaning to extend it anyway but I forgot, so thanks for reminding me. How about till next Wedsnesday?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC 251 : SC Home Shopping Network by niteowl 7-18-04

Good evening, and welcome to The Stripcreator Home Shopping Network! I'm your host, Richard Whiskey. Let's get things started, shall we? The first item up for grabs tonight is the ultra-popular Wirthling Bobblehead doll! A great collectable for children of all ages, and only $19.95! And for all you lonely men out there with nothing to do on a Saturday night, pick up the Hoover© vacuum attachment for a mere $9.95! It'll be the best date you've ever had!

CC 251 : SC Home Shopping Network (2) by niteowl 7-18-04

Next up, our 12th most popular item from last year is back, and better than ever! That's right, it's the talking Fuck doll! You'll hear more lewd and disgusting language on this year's edition than at a hip hop concert! Listen to some of these zingers! how abot 1 last unconsenshal sex sessan, just for old times sake?? wehn a man loves a women HE NALE'S THE FUCKIN BITCH Whoo, that's hot! Get yours today for only $39.95! Remember, this item will not be sold to children under the age of 18, so kids...ask your parents to order it for you! y u big fat ashole

CC 251 : SC Home Shopping Network (3) by niteowl 7-18-04

Ooh, now check THIS out! The most amazing robot ever created, TOBOR! That's right folks, you can have your very own life size TOBOR! RAAARRR! He performs a variety of household tasks, including cornholing your clogged pipes! He'll even do windows! HOUSEHOLD TASKS. DID YOU KNOW I ONCE CORNHOLED ROSIE FROM THE JETSONS? BOY, WAS SHE A HOT PIECE! RAAARRR! And what a great sense of humor too! This bad boy can be yours today for only $1,299.95! Call now to order your very own TOBOR and never have to do dishes again! RAAARRR! BUT TOBOR LIKE WHEN OTHERS ARE BENT OVER KITCHEN SINK!

CC 251 : SC Home Shopping Network (4) by niteowl 7-18-04

And finally, our last item of the hour...the SC dirty bomb, at the special low, low price of only $500,000.95! This is an exact replica of the bombs that have destroyed cities and countries, and claimed millions of innocent lives throughout countless comics on SC! Order now, and you'll receive the companion talking IvyThePlant doll! Watch her laugh maniacally at the destruction of mankind when you set the world ablaze with this sucka! Call now!

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Twitch and Pout. by smamurai 7-19-04

This Fall, Michael J Fox and Muhammed Ali bring you........ I dropped my chalk. ..... Chalk Rock!! If they can't draw a straight line on the blackboard, they don't get their medication. You big fat asshole, dont eat the chalk? ..... ...with the theme tune phoned in each week by Christopher Reeve. o/` I see you baby, shakin' that ass `\o

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Huzzah!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC# 251: Fuck's Flying Circus by possums 7-19-04

helo miss, I wood liek to registar a compliant sory, weer closed four lunch nevermine that. this parot is ded why, yuo big fat ashole, he's resting if hes just resting how com he screemed wehn I naled the fucking bithc?

CC# 251: Fuck's Flying Circus 2 by possums 7-19-04

hey bithc I need som convistibibbles four the lactoads in my bodee sory? I want to buy some cheese

CC# 251: Fuck's Flying Circus 3 by possums 7-19-04

i want to argument no you dont care to be naled? you no me... ill suck anyting and thats a rapp