Admit it, that distance is what you think of when you hear the number 528.  At least if you're a Colossal Geek who knows better than to make Jedi Mind Meld comments.  So, this week's topic is ...

Camels.

Anything is fair game, save for recycling old camel jokes (we all know he can then see the clock on the faraway building, the other guys ride it into town, and/or you picked the ugly one!)  So come up with something new.  I know we don't have a camel character, but frankly I don't think that will stop a bunch as talented as you.

I'll presumably judge on the 10th.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

On second though, screw that.  I apparently Jedi Mind Melded myself durign the last half hour.  So instead, write about two things that should never go together.  Negative infinity points if they involve me and running a comic contest.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Just to be safe, I did mine based on both sets of rules.

CC528: This Competition Entry Is Pure Comedy Turkish Gold by ZMannZilla 3-02-13

So you witnessed the destruction of this city block? Any idea how it happened? It all started when that astronaut came into my corner store... I'd like a pack of Camels please. So he ignited the oxygen in his space suit when he lit up? No, I just told him how much they cost.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Groovy! - Oops, dere it iz! by edoggydog 3-02-13

Name two things that shouldn't come together... Kaufman and comic contests! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I think we just lost. Probably.

Groovy! - Kum Kartrashian and the Crapper by edoggydog 3-02-13

Serioulsy, I'll tell what should have never come together... Groovy! I'm famous for having a big ass and screwing some guy on the internet! I'm an idiot who gets drunk and crashes the stage at award shows! Kim Kardashian and Kanye West... And, I think she's pregnant with the Anti-Christ!

It Goes 90 Miles an Hourglass by four_legged_tripod 3-02-13

I'd like to buy some transportation, please. Go see Murry over at the Honda dealership. I don't want a car. An animal will do just fine. Then you need to go see King Arthur. What is King Arthur doing in present day Saudi Arabia? He's in charge of all the camel lots.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

The Joke Never Gets Old by brycekain 3-04-13

For Christmas I want a camel. Yeah, a big camel. With bells on it. And put it in a dress so I can lift it up and ... FUCK IT! FUCK IT! FUCK IT! FUCK IT! YEAH! YOU LIKE THAT, DONTCHA, BITCH?!? YEAH! TAKE MY MAN GRAVY INTO YOUR WATERING HOLE! YEAH YEAH YEAAAAH!!!!! You're with The Catholic Church, aren't you? I don't see how that has any relevance.

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

CC by HCRoyall 3-06-13

I don't know what you're talking about. I've always collected expired Hostess Fruit Pies. Any sexual gratification I get from shoving them up a camel's ass is my business anyway. So, your answer to my question as to whether you had accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, I assume, is "No."

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC

Space was tight when throwing parties at the school for the special needs kids, but Melvin's decision to do "bobbing for apples" in the restroom would soon backfire. Yay! Chocolate apples!

by HCRoyall, 3-06-13

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Spread the Word to End the Retard by brycekain 3-06-13

So today is National "Spread the Word to End the Word" day, so people will stop saying the "R" word. You mean "Republican?" Um, no... "Racist?" "Rape?" "Religion?" "Rimjob?" "Rectum?" "RETARD!" The WORD is "RETARD!" You FUCKING IDIOT! Do these people have jobs?

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

Groovy! - Like Nails on a Chalkboard by edoggydog 3-06-13

Dude... I was able to combine two distinct celebrity voices using an auto-tune program on my hard drive, dropped in some background music and created the ultimate "duets" recording! Nice... Who did you combine? Yoko Ono and Gilbert Godfrey! What? No "Groovy"?

How in the world did edoggydog know that I saw Yoko Ono on tv last night in her full "glory"?  I think that captures the spirit quite nicely, and I hope you fit well with CC the next.  Congratulations.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Thanks, Mr. Kaufman!  I will come up with a CC ASAPP.