If a bizzare sex act has been conceived, it has been named and defined on Urban Dictionary.  Your challenge is to come up with new and depraved acts with funny names for them.  

Don't worry, I won't check to see if there is an alternate name for whatever you come up with or see if anybody has already claimed the name for something different.  

I didn't for either of these examples.  

So get to it and I'll judge it when I judge it.

Going Down by AccentuateNegative 1-05-16

Let's go down to the playground and hookup. The playground? Isn't that a bit weird? When I was a child, I broke my hymen when my brother jumped off the seesaw, and now that's the only way I can get off. I thought I was the only one into the Teeter-Twatter.

Fannytastic by AccentuateNegative 1-05-16

What happened here? Farticle acelorater. Don't you mean particle acelorater? Not even the Large Hadron Collider could cause this much devastation. So it was a methane explosion? Nah, two lesbians were scissoring away and simultaneously queefed.

CC: Urban Dictionary by HCRoyall 1-06-16

So I call this escort service and ask for someone kinky. Boy, did they deliver. She says she wants me to use bacon grease as lube to masturbate while she deepthroats a sausage and I pelt her with eggs and waffles. I thought you could only get a Continental Breakfast at cheap hotels.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Weenie Beenie by Spark_Of_Life 1-06-16

We need to spice things up. Don't worry, I have the perfect idea. I heard it on Urban Dictionary. Urban Dictionary...? Isn't that website full of phrases that no one actually uses that everyone writes down because they want attention? No. Listen, I'm talking about the Weenie Beenie. It's were you pour pork and beans down your vag, we have sex, and then you lick the stuff off my dick. That sounds unsanitary. In this case, the word "pork" is figurative AND literal.

RCD43: Get Down On The Bee's Knees by ZMannZilla 11-08-10

...next, I gave that dizzy broad the ol' "Stool Pigeon"... that's when you use your tallywhacker upon her speak-easy, then wipe it upon her nose! What the... Who the devil are you? Where am I? After that, she got the ol' "23 Skidoo"! And I bet a well-traveled gentleman like you need not be told that a "23 Skidoo" is a 69 with three tongues! Oh crumbs, I died in the crash! Why didn't I listen when they told me The Spruce Goose would never fly?! You did a "Spruce Goose"? Ew. Wait... "Spruce Goose" is a thing too?

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

RCL no. 5042 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-06-16

Would you like the Air Dick to "Air Cream" your coffee, Frank? Listen, Bill... I looked up Air Dick and Air Cream in the Urban Dictionairy, and they weren't there. You have to look in the Airban Dictionairy. You just made that up. Dude, I made up this whole Air Dick thingy just to keep my character relevant in this lame-ass strip!

RCL no. 3803 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-17-13

239 deaths in that pile up... This has to be your most sinnister plot yet, Lix Gaymen! Yeah, but you'll never want to prosecute me, Captain Obvious! Why's that, Lix? Because, if this ever goes to trial, I'll produce into evidence a video of you giving me a "slippery Mexican" in the back of my '73 CVCC... It could be very embarrass-ing for you! Not really... I posted that video on YouPorn months ago!

Dragonxero and Jael try to outdo Phreaky and Drexle...

Nookie Cookie by Spark_Of_Life 1-06-16

Phreaky and Drexle have all the fun when they have sex. I want in on it. I geuss we'll have to outdo them. I'll go check Urban Dictionary. Fifteen minutes later... Any luck? There's this thing called the "Nookie Cookie". It's were we cover ourselves in melted chocolate and we we get a third person to lie between us and we cum all over them. ...then we have a three way until we resemble a giant, melted Oreo. Count me in.

CC631 by Porternotes 1-07-16

I say, I'm feeling a bit saucy this evening perhaps we should come together in a knowing way. What's this all about? I looked up sex positions in the Urbane Dictionary.

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https://www.porternotes.com

One of These is Funnier by four_legged_tripod 1-07-16

Hey Bill. Where's Tina? We were having a hard time making ends meet so I forced her to start dancing at that exotic club down town. Now, all of our bills are paid and she comes home and does her routine for me. No way! You did the "Strip Creator"?

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

RCL no. 5045 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-07-16

Holy rental properties in default!! What the hell was l that sex act??? I like to call it the "Stretched Vagina" aka the Khloe Kardashian. THE KHLOE KARDASHIAN??? I'M NOT GOING TO DIE FROM SOME KIND OF SEXUAL DISEASE, AM I??? Of course, not... Well, maybe. Probably. You might want to get your living will updated. AAAAAAAAAAA!!! Beat you to it, four_legger!! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA

RCL no. 5046 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-07-16

Take one: WTF! That was the "atomiclunch"? You're not into retard sex? Take two: WTF! That was the "ragu4u"? I know... It was supposed to last longer than 20 seconds, but I haven't been laid since Alec Baldwin got fatter than his brother, Dan! Take three: WTF! That was the "brycekain/Pandeist"? I'm every bit confused as you are about what just happened!

(Are we still taking  atomiclunch down a few rungs?  I wasn't sure.)

CC631: Ah Memories..... by brycekain 1-09-16

"Backdoorgasm: When a person laughs so hard their bowels quiver and they shit their pants." by afallenmind May 05, 2011 "Stoner Moment: When you are having a conversation, or in a situation, and you completely forget a major part of what you were going to say or do." by afallenmind January 20, 2015 "Smurf: To cause another person to have an orgasm so hard that they turn blue during the orgasm process." by afallenmind January 09, 2012 I don't know who this afallenmind guy is, but he sounds like a British cigarette.

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

Okay, it's been a week.  Last call for entries, you filthy strippers.

CC631 An oldie but a goodie. by Porternotes 1-12-16

So, to change things up I found a position for us to try on the Urban Dictionary. OK! What do I do... Get on down there big fella... 20 minutes later So, that was the "68"... You do me and I owe you one.

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https://www.porternotes.com

CC 631: Where you don't want anyone to know your name by jes_lawson 1-12-16

You uh, fancy a round in Cheers tonight Carla? Sorry Coach, I'm up on blocks. It'll have to be Gary's Old Time Tavern. We still get filmed in front of a live studio audience, right? Yup. Evening everybody! Make mine a large one. Norm?!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Thanks to everyone who gave me some new perversions to explore.  A winner is ZMannZilla for his history lesson on what you can do to a flapper's flapper.  Extra points for his mathmatically correct oral three-way and use of the word "stool."

RCD43: Get Down On The Bee's Knees by ZMannZilla 11-08-10

...next, I gave that dizzy broad the ol' "Stool Pigeon"... that's when you use your tallywhacker upon her speak-easy, then wipe it upon her nose! What the... Who the devil are you? Where am I? After that, she got the ol' "23 Skidoo"! And I bet a well-traveled gentleman like you need not be told that a "23 Skidoo" is a 69 with three tongues! Oh crumbs, I died in the crash! Why didn't I listen when they told me The Spruce Goose would never fly?! You did a "Spruce Goose"? Ew. Wait... "Spruce Goose" is a thing too?

Take it away, you deviant.  The next contest is yours.

Well, RCD comic, it took us over five years, but I FINALLY WON A CONTEST WITH YOU.

New contest shall arrive shortly.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."