Tales of Terror I by israphael 11-05-02

*DING DONG* Man, I hope we get some good candy here. Yeah, at the last place all I got was a rock. TRICK OR TREAT! Get off my porch, you dirty little scamps, before I call the police on you. Man, that old man Kaufman sucks. Yeah, almost as much as Wirthling.

Tales of Terror II by israphael 11-05-02

Man, I can't wait to see the look on old man Kaufman's face. Yeah, the bucket over the door is a classic. Wait here, while I ring the doorbell. *DING DONG*...... What the hell? I thought I told you kids- *KLUNK* *KLUNK* *KLUNK* *KLUNK* Ouch! Shouldn't the bucket been filled with water? That's so passe. Bricks are funnier.

Tales of Terror III by israphael 11-05-02

Hi Cindy! Would you like to come over to my place? I'll show you something I call the "Donkey Punch". Not right now. Old man Kaufman is running around, pissed off, and beating people with a cat! I gotta go hide! I'm sure you're exaggerating. That sounds nothing like him. Hey bro, how's it hanging? ARGH! NAMFUAK WILL PUSSYWHIP YOU NOW!

Oh No! Due to a Halloween prank mishap, Kaufman is not his usual sweet, pun-loving self!

The rules for this competition are:

1) Show either the future rampages of Kaufman, or how this situation is resolved, or both.

2) Use ONLY the characters depicting the stripcreator regulars (Forumuser character set, Jon representing Dougan or myself, the dragon for Bazilla, etc.) and the kids from Kaddar.

3) NO PUNS!!!

Multiple entries accepted and encouraged. I be judging the competition sometime on Saturday, so the deadline will be Saturday noon SC-time.

Happy stripping!

P.S. Sorry for the delay, I didn't expect to win another competition so quickly so I wasn't checking the site.

P.P.S. That's a lie. Actually mikeweeney and deucepm are aliases of mine. You thought I was joking about voting myself "Presidente for Life". BWAHAHAHA!

P.P.P.S. I decided against abusing Spankling for a change. (I'm cruel that way.)

P.P.P.P.S. For all of you, except Billings: Donkey Punch.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Damn you, the minute you said 'no puns' you disqualified my first idea.

Ah screw it, here it is... in almost total non-rules compliance. :p

Something Wiccan This Way Comes by Drexle 11-05-02

I'm coming!

Kaufman Goes Door-to-Door for Vengeance. by UnknownEric 11-06-02

Knock knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare. Me, naked in front of my class with a huge erection? ... Okay, your SECOND worst nightmare... Bob Dole in front of my class with a huge erection?

Kaufman Door-to-door Volume II: Electric Boogaloo by UnknownEric 11-06-02

Look, I'm here for vengeance, dammit! Vengeance! Open the damn door! I'm sorry, I didn't order any vengeance. You... *growl*... Look, you don't ORDER vengeance. You DESERVE it! So it's free? OF COURSE IT'S FREE, YOU... 'Cause all I got's a nickel and that won't even get me a bus ride.

Kaufman Door-to-door Volume III: Attack of the Clowns. by UnknownEric 11-06-02

Are you going to open this door or do I have to... Okay, gimme a second. I'm nekked. Auugghhh... thanks for the visual I didn't need. Alright... alright! Hang on to your trousers! Oh, come on! Put your damn pants on! You can't have it both ways, sparky.

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I has a flavor!

Pantsiel by akirajim 11-06-02

Trick or treat! And what are you supposed to be? I'm the Littlest Angel. Which angel? Ramiel, Sachiel, Iruel...? They have names? What the fuck is wrong with you kids today that you don't even know the fucking Kaballah?! No candy for you!

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

I THINK IV ALL READY WON THIS CONTEST

WEEDLEWEEDLE PWEENS by weedleweedle 11-06-02

HAY U, WANA GO THRO SOM TOILET PAPERS ON GOATSE.CX'S HOUSE? SOUNDZ FUN!!!!!!! *THROW* *THROW* PICHER OF GOATSE.CX CENSURED YAY A WIPE!

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BROUGHT TO YOU BY WEEDLEWEEDLE J. PWEENS

At last, a protagonist I can identify with!

Snkkt in the Grass by kaufman 11-07-02

First we put knives, cheese graters, lemon zesters, etc. into the Jack-O-Lanterns, so that when the kids try to pick them up, their flesh will be shredded. Next, awful stuff for their goody bags: Oats, hay, sugar cubes. And of course disks for installing stupid Microsoft operating systems on Macs. And now the coup de grace! I'll make sure all the Republicans get elected! That's abominable! And so out of character! Where's the pun in that? Oh, there is none. But you've got to admit it will make their lives absolutely miserable.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 152: Death From A Salesman 1 by BigEvilDan 11-07-02

Hey Kaufman. Hi NeoVid. I'm here to kill you while I'm still temporarily insane. Ha ha ha ha! Good one Kaufman. That wasn't a pun! Don't you people listen to what I say any more?

CC 152: Death From A Salesman 2 by BigEvilDan 11-07-02

Anybody home? Can I help you? Actually, I was looking for Wirthling. If you're planning on decapitiating him, somebody beat us both to it. You're new to this gig, aren't you?

This one's slightly non-compliant, but I think it fits the spirit of the rules.

CC 152: Death From A Salesman 3 by BigEvilDan 11-07-02

Hello? Anyone there? Oh, hey Kaufman. You're looking pretty dead today, Brad. Calling ahead was a brilliant idea. I must admit, it's quite a time saver.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Tales of Terror IV by israphael 11-07-02

Jael, what's with you these days? You seem to be in another world. I'm in love. Kaufman came by my place and made hot passionate love to me. I found him to be a skilled and vigorous lover. Kaufman... You mean the geek with the red hair and moustache... the one who's always carrying a cat? Yeah, that's him. That sounds nothing like him at all... not at all.

Turnout for this competition has been a little slow, so I'm altering the rules a bit for broader appeal.

New Rules:

1. Write a Halloween themed comic.

2. You must include at least one character from the Kaddar character set.

I will still give extra points for strips that heap abuse on Kaufman.

Multiple entries - blah blah blah - Deadline Sunday noon - yadda yadda yadda

C'mon strippers, shake your moneymakers!

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC152: The banality of evil by lara7 11-08-02

About time you got home! Hurry up and change into your costume for the party! Okay, sorry. Give me 15 minutes and I'll be ready So what do you think of my costume? Uh...who the hell are you supposed to be? Kaufman. And I've got 25 Halloween puns memorized. I have no idea what a "kaufman" is, but I'm already scared.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

This is a good idea for a contest. Sadly, I could never make anything funny for it.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

CC 152 by NeoVid 11-08-02

Man, I love Halloween. GACK! It's got to be my favorite holiday. You're a psycho, mister. There's nothing like the look on someone's face when they take a bite of a caramel-coated onion. I'll get you for this one day.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

CC 152: treat or trick by boinky33 11-08-02

Trick or treat! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Attack of the Double-Headed Lame Contests by Spankling 11-08-02

OPEN UP! Open up or I'll break your door down with this battering cat! Israpheal Aint home, Kaufman! Go away! So were is he?! That bastard got people to egg my house and break up my jack-o-lantern! Uh... He's out looking for funny golf pictures! Oh... well... GREAT! So long as I don't have to name that stupid fart joke of Spankling's as the winner. Like anyone else would ever enter a contest that lame...

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Kaufman is Syphilis on the Dick of Stripcreator by akirajim 11-08-02

That's the ugliest fucking Halloween costume I've ever seen!

Happy Halloween, jizzbuckets!

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

Intro by dcomposed 11-08-02

Trick or Treat! Dude, I came to your door. You're supposed to give me shit. Trick or Treat! Just gimme some candy. I have a kitty!

Carnival of Carnage by dcomposed 11-08-02

Yeah, I'll have a double cheeseburger, large fries and 3 pepsis. Trick or Treat! WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU?!?! Ha ha, Tricked ya. Now give me my food.

The Juggla by dcomposed 11-08-02

TRICK OR TREAT!!! Trick or Treat! No way am I eating that cat! Cat's are people too you know. Trick or Treat! fuck it, might as well.

First Day Out by dcomposed 11-08-02

((SINGING CHRISTMAS SONGS)) Trick or Treat! It's christmas, Sir. *SLAM*

Red Neck Hoe by dcomposed 11-08-02

Trick or Treat! I have come to take over your planet! Your costume is pretty. *SLAM!*

[Click to view comic: 'Wizard of the Hood'][Click to view comic: 'Guts on the Ceiling'][Click to view comic: 'Is That You?'][Click to view comic: 'Night of the Axe'][Click to view comic: 'Psychopathic'][Click to view comic: 'Blackin' Your Eyes'][Click to view comic: 'Never Had it Made'][Click to view comic: 'Fuck Your Rebel Flag'][Click to view comic: 'Ghetto Freak Show'][Click to view comic: 'Taste']

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Well, I'm going to loose.

who is going to win?

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Uh.........Ralph Smith.

CC 152: what? by boinky33 11-09-02

That's a great Halloween costume! It's Halloween? AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Poor kitty.

Thanx for the idea, Dcomp ...

Floor Wax AND a Dessert Topping by Namgubed 11-09-02

Trick or Treat! ** CAUTION: RULE-BENDER AHEAD ** Yes!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

The Sound of Müselix 5 by Namgubed 11-09-02

♫ The hills are alive ... ♫ ♫ And they're abusing Kaufman! ♫ AHH-AH-AH-AHHHHH!!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

I looked and looked, but I see nothing regarding puns in the second set of rules. So I don't think I have to hide them this time ...

Pulp Confection by kaufman 11-10-02

Trick or treat! Here you go. Hey, wait a minute. All my candy's fallen out of my bag. Could I have some more? You're missing the point of the holiday. It's supposed to fall through. That's the fun of it. Huh? Why do you think they call it "All Hollow Sieve?"