Rules:

1. Choose at least two themes from each column:

Column A
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Wine
Fine dining
The theatre
Foibles of the bourgeoisie
Divine paradoxes
Rhetorical fallacies
Opera
Yachting
Classical architecture or sculpture
Horse breeding

Column B
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Farting
Gluttony/drunkenness
Adultery/cuckoldry
Effluvia (includes puking)
Grotesquery (e.g., oversized bodies or body parts, persons with animal body parts)
Rioting
Debasement (e.g., insults, pies-in-face)
Ethnic slurs
Blasphemy
Aristocrats getting hurt

2. Avoid bestiality references. Please do not evade this rule by combining "horse breeding" and "adultery," for example.

3. Include at least one instance of any black Lowpass character.

4. Add coarse themes at your pleasure, refined ones at your peril.

5. Entries will be judged Monday morning, 10ish. Sorry if that's too long, but I have a P-90 at home.

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What others say about boorite!

Is it an unwritten rule that we stick to 3 panels, or can we use 6?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Come on, I've already figured how to shoehorn the whole list of coarses into 3 panels, even if a balloon might stretch a frame a bit. It shouldn't be that hard.

Now if only I knew what was meant by some of that refined stuff. Oh well, there's always opera.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC35 Don'ts by boorite 6-07-01

WRONG I say, old bean! I am certainly hammered on this Lafitte du Rothschild '78! Let's go fuck a horse! Sorry, chum. Last time, the filly behooved me right in the codpiece, causing me to perform an impromptu aria. WRONG I say, old bean! I seem to have gaffed whilst rigging the gaff! Do you suppose your bilge pipe could accomodate a horse's penis? I like Shakespeare. You get the idea. We're talking to YOU, Gabe.

You can stretch it out to 6 panels if:

* The aristocrats get really, really hurt.

* You include 2 different black Lowpass characters.

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What others say about boorite!

Alight already! I'll squeeze it into 3 panels. If Gabe can make room for a donkey, I'm sure I can fit this in.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

quote:

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Now if only I knew what was meant by some of that refined stuff. Oh well, there's always opera.

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quote:

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I don't think singing: Kill the Waaaabit, Kill the Waaabit, from the old Warner Brothers cartoons counts as opera.

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CC35 - Teletubbies and vodka soup by skagg 6-07-01

Yeah down with the white man, I burn you all!!! BWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! Damn nigger! I, the 13th duke of Wimbledon, should jump down there and cut his gonads off!! But alas, I haven't the time as I am late for the theatre!! Oh well, just one can't hurt can it? Gee, I hope nobody notices the way I'm dressed. Damn nigger's blood stains, thats gonna cost me to get it cleaned! This magnum of Champagne might help soothe the pain though. And this disguise beard?! The leading player is so very bourgois whereas Charles is portrayed in such a post-modern manner that its all very laughable. Maybe if they were sent to military school like me they wouldn't be so bad Hey, isn't that the 13th duke of Wimbledon?! Hey *hic* ehatcha lookin at?! i used to be youngnh liek you *hic* ill fuk you pie tastion ass like that jesus guuuy back there...im hooome now-im saaailing, i am saaailing.that last bottl-zzzzzzzzzz

dunno why but even tho i found the ristrictions difficult to find inspiration in i still found the need to bang out another crap comic within 5 minutes of reading the rules

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

At first I thought I might have gone too far.

Then I remembered I was posting here.

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=21030

CC 35: Wine, rich bastards and slurs by NeoVid 6-07-01

Impressive little yacht you have, Anonymous Donor #12. You did bring the 27 bottles of LSD-laced champagne, right? Of course I did, Senator! My servants will be right along with it. I am wondering how you managed to get so much money saved up in just a few months... Simple. It's all from hard work, careful planning... The hell it is! That cracker told God to fuck off, and then sold his soul to reinstate the slave trade! Ah, the American dream lives on!

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Minoan Snake Goddess, where are you? by Spankling 6-07-01

An unlikely pair discuss fine art over fine wine. Smashing 1976 Lafitte Rothschild Bongo. Where ever did you come by it. While fisting the Dutchess of York I found a whole case of it. I donkey punched her with one bottle and ran off with the rest. But we were discussing women in art. Now the Birth of Venus... Later that evening... Th' Minoan Snake Goddess bitch holds two writhing snakes for shitting out loud! Like she's gonna mouth plow two cocks! *drool* I wanna beat her high round ass with a fist full of car antennas! Fuck you goat boy! The Venus of Wiilendorf is the quintessential woman! She honors the primal mother goddess with her opulence. And she predates your snake wagging whore by over 28,000 years! Even later. Peter finds himself on the street looking to satiate the lust their conversation has produced. Whathaya say bro! You got anyone as hot as this Wiffilfork... Willidork... Earth Goddess Bitch! I wanna shag 'er! Yeah, I know what you want honky. I got a big ol' mamma gonna sit you down an' stuff yo head clean up her fat ass. You got the 20 bucks?

May the Goddess forgive me.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

quote:

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You can stretch it out to 6 panels if:

* The aristocrats get really, really hurt.

* You include 2 different black Lowpass characters.

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Why you tricky bastard. Saved the comic to an image, messed with it, and chucked it up on the boards.

This could change things. Contests my need new rules.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Hey, it ain't the first time. You ought to start reading old threads.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Sorry. Forgot the CC35 at the top of my entry...

Pardon Me, But Do You Have Any Grey Poupon? by gabe_billings 6-07-01

Good lord, Sampson. This foie gras tastes like it came out the back end of a goose! Have the cook beaten, then lay my clothes out for the symphony. If I'm late I'll have you shot. Yes sir, Master Fitzgibbons, sir. But there's a Colonel Wirthling in the parlour who come to see you. He seem awful angry. I told him you's was busy but he wouldn't leave. Fitzy, you scalawag! While I was abroad last month you befouled good Lady Wirthling. I demand satisfaction, sir. I throw my glove at your feet. Well Colonel. I knew this day would arrive. If you desire justice then we shall settle this like men. Sampson! My dueling pistols! And empty the casket in the west wing of the spare linens. Damn, Sir. That was one fine shot. But I thought you's was s'posed to wait for them to finish their ten paces before you shoot 'em. Christians are Good people, Sampson. Yet there is no good in them at all. Which I shall demonstrate by laying about you with my cane you if you don't lay out my clothes, posthaste!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I am hard pressed to keep up with your current teachings, master. I am afraid to delve into your history.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Of coarse this one's loaded.

CC35: Chuck Steak (well done) by kaufman 6-07-01

Hey Stepinfetchit, be a good chap and bring me shome more *hic* wine. None of that Chablis shite, either, makes my farts smell like dog snot. I'm not a waiter, limey idiot. Yesh, I am Prince Charles. Ears tip you off? Sorry about the vomit, but it's good your tits hang so low so it didn't hit your shoes. See, I crossed the pond on my yacht to escape the folks rioting Lord, strike me down! 'cause I was fooking my mum in front of her hubby, and OWWW! I said strike ME down you incompetent excuse for a deity!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

DUH! I wasn't aware the CC code was a requirement. Can we pretend the CC35 exists on top of Minoan Snake Goddess, where are you? Posted above?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I don't think anyone's gonna strike you down for forgetting it. It's just handy to single out your actual entries from other random comics people feel like leaving through the thread.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I'm judging this contest, and I don't give a Philadelphia handshake about "CC" in the title.

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What others say about boorite!

What the hell is a Philadelphia handshake?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I could've said something about cream cheese, but instead I'll say it's a euphemism for "Philadelphia fuck," as in "flying Philadelphia fuck."

Gigantic chicken dick!

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What others say about boorite!

quote:

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What the hell is a Philadelphia handshake?

quote:

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I could've said something about cream cheese, but instead I'll say it's a euphemism for "Philadelphia fuck," as in "flying Philadelphia fuck."

Gigantic chicken dick!

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http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=21098

Unusually meaningful - muchly apologisings. by DexX 6-08-01

Great King Muotabe! I have seen a wonderful yet disturbing thing - great canoes, larger than elephants, have come to our shores, and pale-skinned men have come from them! Ah, we have visitors. How wonderful. I shall greet them with the finest wines and fruits available to us. Quickly, my child, show me where they are... Greetings, and welcome to our land. Would you be so kind as to attend a feast in your honour- Die, barbaric, black-skinned bastard! *BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!* Aaaaahhh... *hic!* I am delighted to *hic!* belong to the enlightened and *hic!* shivilished shuperior white rashe! *hic!*

Like the title says, unusually serious and meaningful comic. Hopefully it will counteract the disgusting one I made earlier tonight...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=21103

CC35 - A night of dinner theater circa 1742 by Flux 6-08-01

I say old bean. Tonights performance of Shakespeare On Ice is quite envigorating. Right right, pip pip, cheerio. My word! I've just farted! Well its about bloody time, you big nosed camel jockeying curry smelling beaner! Ah've got yo' bottle of Croatian Rukatac Smokvica, guv'nah, the finest wine of the house! Did I mention the actors are naked? With really big boobies? Bloody hell! You know you're not supposed to just drink Croatian Rukatac Smokvica out of a paper bag, you silly twit! Whatever was I thinking? I must have swallowed too much salt water while out on the yatch this morning. While I was screwing your wife.

Comic Contest #35 by NastyPope 6-08-01

Greetings Guildenstern has thou beheld the news of the wedding of that painted convert and the sweet Desdemona ? Aye, even yet they make the beast with two backs. The General Othello doest corrupt the purity of the Senators daughter. What can we do but witness and remain silent, staring up at the window where the lovers couple. The old ram doest stretch the pure lamb with his three stone member and in so doing he maketh a cukold of us all. Forsooth do those white boys disrespect me and my ho. Iago, you may sodomize them then busteth a cap in both their asses.. Of course sir.....what the fuck ? I'm a bird again? Wasn't this old in Aladdin ? I'm so ticked off I'm molting...

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com