Well, since this will obviously never become a CC, because I will never win, I'd like to introduce it as a fun game.

This game of chance is based on your birthdate. For example, my birthday is May 10, 1984, or 5-10-84. Comicized, my birthday is

The definition of holy war by Hyde 1-08-02

GUYAAAAAAAA! did i scare ya? yes, you scared the bajesus outta me. see, look over there. where the hell did that jack fuck cowboy go? what the hell am i doing in this grassy field... ALRIGHT, WHO SCARED THE ME OUTTA SOMEONE?? im looking for answers people.

I guess I wasn't as lucky as I thought. What's yours?

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

Almost two years ago, some of us had that same discussion. I got to enjoy the experience of posting a comic number, watering it twice a week, and then nearly a year later having the little red X (now a [Posted Comic Does Not Exist]) blossom into a crappy comic.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Which isn't to suggest that those of you who missed it the first time around shouldn't jump right in.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Lemme try mine. Hey, Chicka, our birthdays are 2 weeks apart!

4-26-84

No Life by Angel 11-13-01

Jimmy needs a friend.... You know, I'm glad we got to know each other better... You do know I'm a squirrel, right?

Without the narration box, I would like that comic.

---
Sex Piano.

In the first wave of this, my birthday comic hadn't been made yet...

Love. by DestroyAllTacos 1-04-03

I need love. Shut up before I shove a broom handle up your ass! A broom handle... of love? So lonely...

Now, of course, I wish it hadn't.

---
This is not my empire.

I'm going to use British format as my birthday has been and always will be 10-12-77 to me...

Introduction. by DeathTALON 11-11-02

Hi. I'm Andrew. This is not suposed to be funny oranything, i was just introducing myself. KAMEHAMEYHA! Damn it.

Maybe I should have used "December 10th..."

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

I'm not British.

What to do? by PyroBob 1-20-02

Hmm. What can I do? I know! I'll build something! How to build a shed... Whew! That looks hard! Well, I might as well try it. That can't be right!

Oh, great. I get a lame nail-in-head comic.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

'Course not. You're not_Scyess! ;-)

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

mm/dd/yy -

Nonsense by Hyper 1-21-02

AAAGGH!!! I LOST MY BUTT!!! You lost your butt, and I lost my nail and I don't know where it is... NOOO, NOW I LOST MY NOSE!!! AAGH, now I fell into a trashcan MORE NOOOOOOO, I JUST TURNED INTO A SPAT THINGY THAT HAS THE WORD SPLAT IN IT!!! *Reads Script* Shut up

dd/mm/yy -

Leps Rocket Arena encounters (Part 2) by cyo 8-13-01

Recently on a Rocket Arena server, oag'lep has an encounter... Who are you? you are so l33t... I AM GOD OF QUAKE Didn't I see you on this server before? NO, I SELDOM WONDER THE LAND OF THE MORTALS A yeah, now I remember. You are this lame aimbot using fak0r!! AND NOW I REMEMBER WHY I DIDNT GIVE YOU ANY SKILLS

Wooo! Excessive fire AND hammer the nail in your head usage!

I was hoping that I would get a comic by a SC reg, or even one of my own.

---
Think classy, you'll be classy.

08/01/72:

:-(

And in European format:

A surplus of information by boorite 3-27-01

Mr. President, did you and the Prime Minister discover you have anything in common? We both use Colgate toothpaste. Ha ha ha ha. ...and plenty of K-Y jelly. Um.... We both like to play "Midnight Rodeo."

I like the European format one better.

---
Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

September 11, 1968
Yank

The powder in those kool aid packets aint for drinkin'. by Zamboro 10-01-02

Hi honey, how was your day? It was awesome! There was free beer, random lesbians sex scenes, and Cornelius from the Planet of the Apes gave me a blowjob! . . . . . Then, just when I thought it couldn't get better, the Kool Aid Man burst through the wall and he was all like "OOHHHH YYEAAAHHH!!!" That guy is such a party animal! Good times, man, good times.... ........Actually, come to think of it, that might have been a dream I had.

Brit

Kula dead? YAY!!! by Wingdong 12-30-02

Kula and 4U2NV I am going to DIEE!! Please Sweedy don't 4U2NV reading Kula note. Maybe Hes right... Please don't I LoVE you!!! Please put it down! Sad sad sad... Fuck IT!!! NOOOO!!! Please god keep him alive!!! I want one more crazy night with him!!!!!

I never would have expected another nail-in-head comic to come up.

Well Geez Guy! by pretilush13 1-29-03

Some guy Jen doesn't know, asks her out. Oh, Hi? Hey Jen, Er, I really like you and I want you to be my girlfriend. Erp. Erp? That's not the answer I was expecting.. But, will you be my girlfriend? Rejection is a harsh thing. Uh, No? Oops? You stuck up bitch, I fucking hate you, I'm going to hate you forever!

---
- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

For the president:

Fight Club 03: Gabe Joins. by Little_Sqirrel 3-24-02

This is your life! and its ending one minute at a time! What the hell are you talking about Tyler? I'm asking you if youll join my elite club. can LS join? sure, why not? sweet, I'll be there at twelve.

For the queen:

Other Uses of the George Foreman Grill by AdiaTrista 8-03-01

After discovering that if refrigerated right away, the grease pit slime left from the George Foreman grill made a wonderful Cannibal lip balm. Ya know Fucko, ever since you've been wearing Carnivorex, I just can't get enough of kissing you! Well, BRING IT ON...ya SEXY skanky thang! And in a swirl of passion, hunger and desire,Skanketa attacked Fucko in a hell of insatiable appetite and lust..... mmmmmmmmm MMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMM AAACKKK OUCH..hey now..NO OOOOOWWWWWWWWW Unfortuantely,Skanketa and Fucko did not read the disclamier,"Apply sparingly and use in moderation"..... MMM, Goddamn we need to get more of that Carnivorex! Damn bitch, I think you took that "hurts so good" concept a little to far....I'm outta heeeeeereeeee

I like the European version for their use of the letter 'm' but that's about the only reason I like it.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I may as well post Stars and Stripes/Maple Leaf style as well since I've started a trend of choosing between formats.

No, it's not supposed to be funny. by nootchx 1-28-03

Father, are you sure you want to save these people? You want some more, old man?! Whatever happened to love thy neighbor? ... Thinking hurts, now feel my pain!

:-/

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

American:

Santa Vs. Animal Rights by TheMadman 8-04-02

Got a parcel here, from some animal rights group. Oh? Yep, says "Free the North Pole Eight", or something. SHIT! DON'T OPE... Damn.

European:

tickles by miffo 3-27-01

Ännu en dag i Tickes liv. crack...? Heartbeat var smockat. POESI FÖR FAN! Världen borde fan gå under asså.... Vilken djuping... Ack....goethe....jag läser...

Hey, holy shit. My European birthdate gives me a European comic.

Neither are really that funny though, are they? Oh well, neither am I!!!

---
I has a flavor!

April 30th 1985

Yank:

Cookies for all! by mentobahamut 11-17-01

It's a nice little Girl Scout! Hello! Would you like to buy cookies? OK, perhaps 'nice' isn't the word Sure kid. Whats in them? My Scoutmaster. 'Psycho' is more appropriate... Wheres the police when you need them... They're full of wholesome goodness!

Brit:

Comic Cup 3: Door-To-Door Destruction by DH-01 8-11-01

... at the next house on the street... Another satisfied customer! I swear, I didn't know how easy door-to-door penis pump sales would be... but I'm still a bit worried about those things being powered by shopvacs. AGH! DEAR SWEET JESUS, THIS THING ATE MY LEFT NUT! IT WON'T STOP SUCKING! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STO-HO-HOOOOP! ... at the next house on the street... Another satisfied customer! I swear, I didn't know how easy door-to-door penis pump sales would be... but I'm still a bit worried about those things being powered by shopvacs. AGH! DEAR SWEET JESUS, THIS THING ATE MY LEFT NUT! IT WON'T STOP SUCKING! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STO-HO-HOOOOP! ... at the next house on the street... Another satisfied customer! I swear, I didn't know how easy door-to-door penis pump sales would be... but I'm still a bit worried about those things being powered by shopvacs. AGH! DEAR SWEET JESUS, THIS THING ATE MY LEFT NUT! IT WON'T STOP SUCKING! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STO-HO-HOOOOP!

The first one's alright... except for the naration and the background.

---
Poop.

07-08-85

Will and Fred: Vacation (2) by whizkid 6-12-02

Hmmm... what was the number for the travel agency? Oh, I remember! I'd call right now, but there's no graphic of me holding a phone yet... It's those budget cuts... I don't think that's even a real phone...

and for 08-07-85 there was... nothing... i guess...

---
Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

Maaan that comic is old! Tobor doesn't want to have sex!

---
Poop.

Normal:

First day out by Kupo 2-27-01

Christ, my first day out of jail and I have to see you. God hates me. Come on, don't take it personal that I left you. Take it personal?! You left me and took my nintendo. I bought that with my own money. You bought that for the both of us. I took that as a memory of you....I still miss you sometimes. You really do miss me? Well, no. I took it because I have no job and you were supporting me all these months. So, I need something to have while I try to fuck someone else with a job.

Yankee:

Earth Grays are Easy by hza 1-14-01

ZZOLLTARR! Once the mothership lands, we can have our way with these earth women! Man, this is gonna rock better than the Enarian Invasion! Yeah, no shit, the only thing on Enaria for us to have our way with were those weird Goth Bitches! The Mothership is here! Lemme go find one of these "Earth Women".. "........" Do you want to get some breakfast after you probe me?

---
"In a thousand years there will be no men and women just wankers and that's fine by me."

American:

Generic Title by killerhack 11-18-02

and so, as the brothers argue... your a loser no i'm not you drive a sunfire! yeah well i'm gay and it suits me! stay the fuck away from me then! why?? you don't like gay people?

Danish (And possibly valid in many other countries):

Taking A Toll 4 by ivytheplant 4-16-05

What are you doing? Filling out time off requests for work. Why are you looking at December? I figured I might as well get breaks I know I'm taking out of the way ahead of time. I've seen books thinner than this. Bad day at work, I take it. How is "so I don't kill all you limey bastards" as a reason?

---
troelsea at gmail dot com