Hello, and welcome to the first of (hopefully many) Chi's Comic Competitions! The rules for this one are going to be relatively simple, 'cos I know that you'll all surprise me with the angle you take on it, and fewer rules gives you more room for creativity...

So, the rules are simply these:

[b](1) You must use only 'characters' from the PROPS category
(2) Avoid the standard SC clichés
(3) Try seeing if you can fit something philosophical in (theme, punchline, whatever)
(4) Make me laugh![/b]

Well, that's just about it - I look forward to the results! Judging should be sometime around Friday, so get stripping...

we'll have to have a referendum on whether or not this "avoids the standard SC cliches."

CtCCC 204: Theoretically speaking... by habnem 8-12-03

Heidegger. I asHume you aren't just Milling about? If you're bored, I could get some Plato, or you could go Schopen. hauer your kids? My name's not Degger, and I don't have any kids. Can you get us out of here? Hobbes some humor, man, and don't put Descartes before the horse. What the Hegel, let's just shoot de Beauvoir. It'll be Nietzsche. Clearly, the low temperature is going to your brain. Stop talking; you'll waste your energy. I Kant. Now, if someone were trying to kill you, would you rather make picard or Kierkegaard? Of all the people to get stuck in a meat locker with, I had to get Ken fucking Kaufman.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

I'm totally never entering another CC.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

CtCCC 204: One more. by habnem 8-12-03

Okay, I'll bite. What are you thinking about? Remember when Brandi Chastain took her jersey off but not her bra? What a Socrates. Embrace me, sweet death.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

CC 204: Why they never accomplish anything by kaufman 8-12-03

The meeting of the Props Caucus will now come to order. Hey, who elected you chair?

And because the 'heights' are props ...

CC 204: Evolution of a Blockbuster by kaufman 8-12-03

Murray, much as I love the concept of "Planet of the Invisible People", the dialogue's not working. Either change it, or change the movie to better fit it. Hi Edna, I haven't seen you in a while. Tell me, does this outfit make me look fat? I love "Planet of the Blind People." That Blind-O-Vision is genius! Unfortunately, the American Federation for the Blind is bitching. Could you give it a more politically correct rewrite? Hi Edna, my guide dog hasn't sniffed you in a while. Tell me, does this outfit make me feel fat? Murray, hurry up with post-production. We want "Planet of the Chameleon People" out by Christmas! Hi Edna, I haven't blended in with the background with you in a while. Tell me, does this outfit make me blend in with fat backgrounds?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

First time I've ever done a series. It isn't good, but it is pretty long, so I got that going for me. Meh.

CC 204: The Burning Bush Tries Again Pt. 1 by KungChiFu 8-12-03

All right, this didn't seem to stick the last time I created a world so listen up. Attention all pre-evolutionary microscopic building blocks of life on this planet: First... thou shalt not kill.

CC 204: The Burning Bush Tries Again Pt. 2 by KungChiFu 8-12-03

That's right, you amoebas and whatnot. Thou shalt not kill. I mean, obviously, when you evolve into higher life forms, you'll need to kill. But not, like, for other reasons.

CC 204: The Burning Bush Tries Again Pt. 3 by KungChiFu 8-12-03

So no killing for now. Just, like, do your cellular mitosis and stuff. And I'll get back to you when you are more smart. I mean, what's so complicated about this stuff, anyway?

CC 204: The Burning Bush Tries Again Pt. 4 by KungChiFu 8-12-03

And while I'm on the subject of "thou shalt nots": No stealing. Except, you know, when you need to, like, mingle DNA and stuff to evolve.

CC 204: The Burning Bush Tries Again Pt. 5 by KungChiFu 8-12-03

We'll get to "Thou shalt not commit adultery" and shit later. Like after you become multi-cellular lifeforms. With opposable thumbs. And sex parts.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

CC 204: The Burning Bush Tries Again Pt. 6 by KungChiFu 8-12-03

Likewise, we'll get to "thou shalt not covet" when you evolve a culture. Or at least an economy. You'll find that they aren't neccessarily mutually inclusive.

CC 204: The Burning Bush Tries Again Pt. 7 by KungChiFu 8-12-03

"Thou shalt not lie" will require ethics. Which is a difficult concept for a microbe. So let's hold off on that.

CC 204: The Burning Bush Tries Again Pt. 8 by KungChiFu 8-12-03

Oh. And no saying my name in vain. You do it as much as the last planet, and there's gonna be a flood. I'm not kidding.

CC 204: The Burning Bush Tries Again Pt. 9 by KungChiFu 8-12-03

Now listen to this. I am God, understand? No other gods for you as you evolve, get me? Or I will SO kick ass.

CC 204: The Burning Bush Tries Again, Pt. 10 by KungChiFu 8-12-03

So, to sum up. I'm God, no killing, no stealing. We'll get to the rest of the list later. You may now return to your biological imperatives.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

CC 204: PC Meets TV by Rabid_Weasle 8-12-03

I don't get what the big deal with this internet thing is? I don't get what the big deal with this TV thing is?

CC 204: Showdown At The Lame Joke Corral by Rabid_Weasle 8-12-03

I said draw! Not erase!

CC 204: Open Mike At The Missle Base by Rabid_Weasle 8-12-03

So then I says, 'That's not a surface to air missle, that's my wife!' Ha ha! ...ya get it? Man... I'm really bombing...

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Poop.

CC204: Placebo by mmyers 8-12-03

Ask your doctor about Diazpreneen. Side effects may include nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, loss of weight, dry mouth, and in rare cases, spontaneous combustion. I don't even know what it's supposed to do... AGGGGHHHHHH!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

Finally, a contest where I can enter old strips:

Ode To Technology by umfumdisi 1-13-03

10:15 On A Saturday Night SIGH. (click) what is the problem? (query) 10:17 On A Saturday Night no one pays attention to me anymore. (click) don't worry, T, it's just a phase. (enter) 10:20 On A Saturday Night yeah, sure...that's what i told the record player. (click) told the WHAT??? (abort)

Depends Upon Your Definition by umfumdisi 2-19-03

H     U     M     O     R     ?

Some PORTIONS Edited For Content by umfumdisi 3-06-03

Ooh, baby, give it ALL to me! I don't think you can handle ALL that, girl. Just put it in--NOW! Here you go, girl, I know how you like it--warm and tender. Mmmmmm--so lean. More, more, more. Mmmmm--juicy. PORK: The Other White Meat

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

This comic isn't funny; I'm just having a crap-ass Tuesday.

You Should Always Check Your Machine by umfumdisi 8-12-03

*BOOP* Harold, you missed a great bus ride to Mother's. We can't wait 'til you get here. Oh, and don't forget to unplug the Christmas tree before you leave for the airport. Love you--bye.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 204: 10110001 by Rabid_Weasle 8-12-03

Hey you wanna go to the bar later? Pardon? I don't understand... 0100101100111 01101001100 11000110101 Haha! Now you're talking my language!

And actually umfumdisi, I liked that last one. :P

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Poop.

CC 204: Feedback by Bargaintuan 8-12-03

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I win!

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

The grass is always greener... by Spankling 8-12-03

HEEEEEELP! THE PAIN! THE DISCOMFORT! Lucky fuckin' bum! Why didn't those kids set ME on fire?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

hey, kids! time for my entry. this is my first series ever, so be nice.

(disclaimer: i am a mac user; therefore, i know nothing about the MSBlaster virus except from what i've heard from friends. so, if my comic contains false info, blame my friends - not me!)

CC 204: MSBlaster part 1 by illyanadmc 8-13-03

crap, i think i have this new MSBlast virus. oh, yah? what's that? i am not quite sure, but i heard that it'll make me endlessly reboot unless someone comes and unplugs me from the internet. that really sucks. oh! there it goes... bob?

CC 204: MSBlaster part 2 by illyanadmc 8-13-03

bob? BEEP! hey, tom, i'm back. oh, not again- bob? are you okay? hello?

CC 204: MSBlaster part 3 by illyanadmc 8-13-03

BEEP! tom-get-someone-to-help- bob? what was that? you were talking to fast! BEEP! i-need-to-be-unplu- okay, i'm just gonna start ignoring you if you don't calm down.

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all your retarded comics are belong to me.