I'll audition, too. Please tell me if I'm being obnoxious. If you do, I'll probably make a comic about how horrible you are, but... meh.

82936 - My first strip to get anything other than half a "moh."
82956 - I think this is organic structure. Maybe not.
83007 - Starring the guy from Saved by the Bell.
83021 - Is gay sex with little boys supposed to be fun or funny? I forget which one.
83026 - A slice of your life, geek.
83028 - Physical comedy always gets a laugh. And by "always," I mean never.
83172 - I had a book of obscure insults with me for this one. See? I even do research for my strips!
83173 - This is actually a pretty good abridgement.
83185 - ASSHOLES ARE FUNNY! HAW!
83190 - This one has a punchline.
83337 - Get it? He's God. At first I thought he was gonna be Simon Cowell.
88119 - I'm sorry already for posting this one.
88142 - Semi-expressionist political commentary before everyone was commenting on the redirection of ee-vil.
88253 - The proctologist is actually Jamie Kennedy.
88257 - When will those crazy kids give in to their natural urges?
88268 - The first panel tells a SHOCKING TRUE STORY.
88696 - I don't think I understood the whole sub_m7 situation when I wrote this.
88959 - This is an example of my ability to tell whole, richly complex narratives in just three panels.
89258 - I'm getting better at this "political commentary" thing. Maybe.
90071 - He's only the world's sixteenth XTreme Sports Secret Agent.
90076 - Doesn't every good cop?
90082 - This was the only Triple DexX strip to win any sort of critical acclaim. And by "critical acclaim" I mean no one took a shit on my front porch that day.
90085 - Someone, somewhere, laughed at this.
90560 - I like how mean-spirited Triple DexX is.
90566 - My best work.
90578 - He looked on the bright side and took it as a compliment. Also, can you find the SUPER SECRET Mullholland Drive reference?
91085 - Dcomposed took time out of his busy schedule of fondling wallabies to come guest star on Triple DexX. Don't worry, right wingers, they're not really going out to buy marijuana cigarettes! I wouldn't want to upset my Republican fans.
91552 - I think this is a masturbation joke.
91562 - See? I deal with real world issues such as racism in my comics!
91571 - The fisting was not consentual.
91572 - Compare this with how someone such as Kaufman would have ended this storyline. I think you'll see our genius is similar.
92313 - I made this strip just to try and fit in.
92322 - The first and second times I watched End of Evangelion, it put me into a state of philosophical euphoria for several hours afterward. The first time I did so, I thought I had discovered the meaning of existing. The third time I watched EoE, I got nothing out of it.
92327 - Once again the music of Cat Stevens saves the world as we know it.
92466 - This one really upset everyone's favorite friend, punkrockskaboy. The thing is, though, I meant to post it on a different account of mine. Guess which one.
92503 - I think all but one of my series have been universally loathed.
93358 - HAW! HE HAS NO PANTS!
93412 - The Asian girl on the right has always been my favorite. She has an air of naughty sexiness. Or maybe I'm just a raging pedophile.
93562 - My incomprehensible response to my detractors.

So now I've given you countless reasons why not to let me into the elite forums, so now you can't but let me in. I'm like Eminem's character in 8 Mile. Huh?! Huh?!

Here's what dcomposed said when I asked him what he thinks of my work:

ha
kaufman only has one vote
not two
or three
kaufman only has one vote
in the comic cup

I NEVER SAID THAT!!!

akirajim should be invited.

One vote is good for me. Usually I get fewer.

YOU HATE ME! YOU REALLY HATE ME!

i must say akirajim your comics remind me of the time i spermed on my belly and by that i mean they suck total fucking ass but thanks for trying and keep up the good work

yours ,
longdong

I love you, LongDong.

Time for part two.

93931 - Who's the boss? Bazilla's the boss.
93934 - Tell it like it is, Clango Stevenopolis!
94997 - This is one of the worst comics I've ever made. Of course, it's still better than some of the fucked-up shit I've seen while Randomizing.
95005 - Masterful social commentary.
95157 - Another godawful one. I must apologize for my CC 148 entries; I was high on cold pills and couldn't stop writing shitty comics.
95159 - Actually, this one's a masterpiece. I guess sometimes it's good to be sick and stupid. "C'est Con" had what must have been the worst plot ever, but it read like poetry. If you don't agree with me on this important issue, you're obviously too new to understand MY GREAT ART.
95336 - The joke in this particularly brilliant CC 148 entry was that every strip in this series had the line "Hurricane Octavius is an asshole." Isn't that clever? I don't know why I never referenced Hurricane Octavius again. I could create my own little self-contained universe of comic strip continuity.
95342 - This CC 148 series is about how me and dcomposed are best pals who live together. I do not know to what degree mansex is involved in this relationship.
96260 - He really is one sick fucking porpoise.
97023 - I like the middle panel.
98358 - 'kay.
100178 - I hope Kaufman really is Jewish or this comic completely sucks.
100198 - This would've been a damn good blad strip if only I hadn't accidentally posted it under this account name.
101381 - Awww, DexX, that's so sweet.
101383 - Guess what the rules to this CC were.
101979 - This is really how I met brad. He's a great guy.
102257 - The first person to identify the literary reference in this comic gets to be insulted in a strip done by my very own best pal, LongDongSilver.
102597 - My only series anybody ever enjoyed.
102608 - This is a real scientific experiment you kids can perform at home if you ever want to know for sure whether or not your dad's a polesmoker.
103273 - A masterpiece of characterization.
103729 - I wish.
104609 - My first ever "Making the Funney." In MtF's, I make existing comics done by other users funnier with the addition of very obvious dick jokes.
104615 - An MtF injoke.
104616 - Boinky33 comics... with dick jokes?!
104764 - A very personal moment with Drexle.
107395 - Kee-razy!
109305 - Maybe Bobby Christ is.
110631 - Another serious social issue discussed.
116909 - Insult comic? Or clever satire?
158604 - I was just asking for forum access, brad...
159775 - True, true.
159778 - Zing!
162702 - This is what happens when you piss off brad in the Stripcreator chat.
162721 - I think this is why I almost got banned.
162841 - Something more mainstream.
163430 - Partially based on my chat exploits.
163443 - Paying tribute at the feet of your idols.
166245 - An excerpt from my Stripcreator musical.

There, motherfuckers!

Notice how Kaufman has avoided addressing the real issue here- my comics!