What with the hoo-ha over in Egypt and the protests and whatnot in the rest of the Middle East, I feel that the topic of government and dictatorship has gotten a little too serious lately.  I mean, who hasn't ordered a hundred political prisoners killed and their bodies arranged to spell out a marriage proposal to the american tourist you kidnapped yesterday?  Am I right?  Those protesters should chill out a little.

Plus, all this mess has taken the spotlight away from the true king of unstable governments:  the Banana Republic.  Make a comic about a ridiculous government, be it in the excesses of its leader, the bizarre laws by which it is run, or thehilarious way it was born.  Judging will be in two weeks or whenever I can be arsed to come down off my throne of gold-plated baby skulls to do so.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Tim and Todd Play Risk by four_legged_tripod 2-16-11

It's not fair that Debi gets her own room and we have to share. Share? You see that line? On this side of that line is my kingdom. Kingdom? That's right. I'm the king over here and you can't enter my kingdom. What's your kingdom called, "Imalittlebitcha"?

Tim and Todd Play Risk by four_legged_tripod 2-16-11

No, my kingdom is not called "Imalittlebitcha." And you just stepped over the line entering my kingdom. You now have to pay the "Lick a dick" entery toll. I'm not licking your dick! Who said anything about my dick? Woof?

Tim and Todd Play Risk by four_legged_tripod 2-16-11

Why the hell does the dog's dick taste like peanut butter? Why the hell did you lick the dog's dick? I thought those were the rules! Look, this is silly. If we join forces your kingdom increases by 50% and then we can take over Debi's kingdom and get even more land. Hmmmm. WE DECLARE WAR ON "CUNTOPIA"! WE DECLARE WAR ON "CUNTOPIA"!

Tim and Todd Play Risk by four_legged_tripod 2-16-11

Todd, I just remembered that Debi is on her period. So? Well, this might not be the best time to wage a war on her. Why not? She's already lost a lot of blood. It'll be easy. Run for your life! The bitch be crazy! Get back here so I can finish super gluing your little pecker to your stomach you ass wipe!

Tim and Todd Play Risk by four_legged_tripod 2-16-11

I can't believe she really super glued your dick to your stomach. I know. I kept getting beat up in the gym locker room at school because everyone thought I had a boner. Wow. That must have been really traumatic for you. Why do you say that? Well your chest is all sweaty. No it's not. I just peed.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Tim and Todd Play Risk by four_legged_tripod 2-16-11

Well, I've done some research online and found a natural way to dissolve the super glue. You just have to promise to drop the whole kingdom thing. Fine. Whatever it takes to put my dick back to normal. So what is this natural solution you've found? Dog saliva. Say what? Only as long as Tim gets in on the action. He gives pretty good head.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

cc470: Banana galactic republic by mandingo 2-16-11

sire, sire! DON'T SIGN THAT! my word, Pimbly! what ARE you on about?? they are HORRIBLE creatures, sire! "To Serve Man" - it's not what we thought it meant!! DEAR LORD, A COOK BOOK?? worse, sire. so much worse SO THE DANCE OFF WILL HAVE 3 MINUTE ROUNDS...

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 470

Speaks for itself...

by ragu4u, 2-16-11

CC: 470 by Beeko180 2-16-11

Who the hell are you? I own you bitch. I am now the overseer of the HelloKitty Tellytubby Republic. As the overseer I am granted the title of chief pimp and ruler of the HelloKitty Tellytubby Republic. Okay, first of all I'm not doing shit for you. And second of all "HelloKitty Tellytubby Republic"? I'll believe that, the day I get thrown in jail for defying a seven year old. I should have stopped after "okay"...

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

The Molly Rebellion by Beeko180 2-17-11

Molly, I am now ruler of the world, and under Act Section 72 of the new world order, I am entitled to your pocket money. My pocket money? You've just become ruler of the world, and the only thing you're going to use it for, is to rid me of my pocket money? You blubbering idiot, next time you decide to take over the world, think of something FUCKING USEFUL TO DO WITH IT!!! Now give me your pocket money and go change your pants.

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

Expanding The Mushroom Kingdom by ZMannZilla 2-17-11

Oh, Mario! Thanks to you, our kingdom has defeated the Koopas at Donut Valley! Thanks, Peach! Now raise their tax another 10 Coins a year and put the little fungus brains to work building a Fire Flower farm! But the people are already over-taxed, both physically and financially! They'll certainly rebel! Send Luigi and four units of Yoshi Riders over there to secure the border. I'll allocate some Coins into a propaganda campaign. I'm not sure I like the direction Sid Meier is taking the Mario franchise.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

CC 470: Excuse me, but isn't that your banana in my hand? by bigworm 2-18-11

Who's the leader of this Banana Republic anyway? I am the King. In my hand is held the royal banana. What do you call this 'banana' in MY hand? I call that the King's royal banana. So what's that make me? Need you ask my Queen?

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bigworm

Come on, people!  I'm not judging this thing until I get at least 10 entries!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Must Have Been A Door There In The Wall by boloboffin 2-23-11

HEY! You may not ever have heard of me, but I created all of this plus you, you're breaking all my rules, and I'm PISSED about it! Oh... kay.... Boy, are you in luck. I'm his son, and I bled out to stop him from smacking you around, so it's all good. Oh. Well, thanks, I guess... No worries, he got better. Now, about giving me a healthy portion of all your available cash from here on out... The only way this deal could be better is if I wind up spending eternity praising the psycho in the first panel.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

CC470: I don't trust the new advisor by evil_d 2-24-11

Sire, the people are upset about some of the new laws. Particularly the ones saying that peasants are to "go naked at all times, swimming at least once a day, and pay all taxes in blood or flesh." Upset? You tell that rabble they'll do what their King says and like it. First one who gives you trouble, you run 'im through, just to make an example. Of course, your highness. Have to admit I don't understand the nudity myself. Clothes get stuck in my teeth.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

CC 470: Wasn't there a song about this 'republic'? by bigworm 2-25-11

Ahoy "Monkeynannerland"! Are you ready for the tourists? I am so very proud to say that my company hauled the first load of 'monkeynanners'. So, where are they? So you're saying... you had truck-loads of 'monkeynanners' yesterday... ... but you have no 'monkeynanners' today? Yes.

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bigworm

Is it too late to play my 'Get out of Libya Free' card? by TheGovernor 2-25-11

*Chance* Take a trip to Tripoli Station, if you pass Gaddafi's henchmen pay $200 to bribe them not to shoot you I just landed on one of your hotels, what do I owe you? Nothing, my hotels were all built on the east side of the board and were looted by Anti-Government protesters Im not sure I like this Monopoly Libyan edition.

In a tight spot by TheGovernor 2-25-11

Generalissimo the capital has fallen and the country is ours Excellent, that will teach those imperial pig dogs a lesson Unfortunately most of he infrastructure and economy was destroyed, the only thing spared was the tight swimming trunks factory You mean that is all we have left to trade? Yes, we're now a Banana Hammock republic

Ways to become King of England if you're not very strong by evil_d 2-25-11

"Who so Pulleth Out This Sword of this Sheath, is Rightwise King Born of England." I think I can handle that. "Who so Pulleth Out This Phone of this Cradle, and with it Call 1-900-HOT-CHIX, is Rightwise King Born of England." Really? Because I was going to do that anyway. "Who so Best This Emu at the Game of Basket-Ball Upon the Eve of Michaelmas, is Rightwise King Born of England." O... kay....

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

2011's Top U.S. Banana Republicisms by kaufman 2-25-11

Third place goes to Wisconsin governor Scott Walker for using his position to bust unions and give sweetheart deals to his corporate contributors. Second place goes to DC council chair Kwame Brown for ordering on strapped city funds two Lincoln pimpmobiles for himself. Why two? He didn't like the first one's interior color. And first place is a tie among 2700 condo and homeowners' associations from coast to coast. Excuse me. We're going to have to fine you $150. Your microphone is not the prescribed shade of pewter.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Edna in: "In The Unlikely Event" by biped 2-25-11

Guess what, Mommy? I just 'clared myself Emperor of the Whole World. Oh, you DID? (How cute!) GOODNESS, that sounds important, err..."Your Imperial Highness." (giggle) Oops, there's the doorbell. Yeah, I'm here to report to Her Imperial Highness that the mass executions have taken place as commanded. Death toll, one billion. Bonfire at dawn. Okay, this just stopped being "cute." I'd better have a word with Sally right now. Ed, you'd better have a word with Sally right now. She just-- I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK.

Edna in: "In The Unlikely Event" 2 by biped 2-25-11

Oh, Father O'Mallard, I so desperately need to talk to you. It's about my little Sa-- I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. Well, this just keeps getting worse. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I need an organic nerve calmative. Perhaps one of your mild herbal teas, with a dash of cinnam-- I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK.

Edna in: "In The Unlikely Event" 3 by biped 2-25-11

I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. Yes, thank you for the chat, Mother... What's wrong, Mommy? You look suspicious. I have to kill her. It's the only way. But...what if she's reading my mind? Oh my god, I have to bash her brains in before -- I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK. I HAVE A BIG DICK.

Edna in: "In The Unlikely Event" epilogue by biped 2-25-11

Oh, Ed! I had the most HORRIBLE nightmare last night! Sally declared herself Emperor of the Whole World, and-- I HAVE A BIG DICK. Wha-what? Yeah, that Viagra worked like a charm. Meet you in the you-know-where in five minutes. UHH!!! OHH!!! AHH!!! EEE!!! ARG!!! URG!!! ARF!!! URF!!! OOF!!! EEF!!! OMIGOD!!! OMIGOD!!! OMIGOOOOD!!! Break the door down, Officers! It sounds like somebody's killing Mommy and Daddy in there!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

RCL no. 2477 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-25-11

What's this list? My house. My rules. Okayyyy... I understand the part about keeping the kitchen clean, no friends after midnight, and no doing drugs, but... But what? What's this bullshit about me having to do a complete product inventory of the local Banana Republic on a daily basis? My house. My rules.

I'm pretty sure this has been done before but:

Banana Republic by Beeko180 2-26-11

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

Putting the Fun in Fundamentalist by choadwarrior 2-27-11

I am the Prince of Peace and the King of the Jews. Believe in me and you will live forever in my kingdom. How do you plan on getting your message out to the people? This is where I'll need your support. God wants me to build a theme park.

CC 470: R.C.L.- NATIVES GO CLUBBING! by bigworm 2-27-11

This course was built on bananas. Investors have upgraded the infrastructure, in an attempt to make it 'corporate friendly'. Every native has been given a free set of clubs. What we do with clubs? Kill banana robbers? Meanwhile, the natives have remained 'corporate unfreindly' and used the clubs to murder all of the foreign investors. Me develop good swing, but clubbing very messy! Requestum upgrade. A spokesperson for the natives has asked that they be provided with machetes for the next go round, as the clubs make too much mess. Hmmm... these strange eggs no good! Ow!!! Breakum teeth!

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bigworm

I meant to do more with this crappy premise but then I just ran out of caring.

Figured I'd post it anyway and maybe get some kind of obscure "Best Entry That The Author Stopped Caring About" Mention or something.

The Legend of Don Pupetillo 1 by AngryAmerican 2-28-11

Greetings people of Boliverialand! I am your new duly elected Leader, El Presidente For Life, Don Pupetillo! I wish to thank all my supporters who waded through the proverbial 'sea of blood' to get me elected. Just kidding about the 'proverbial' part. Little Dictator humor there.